


Living the Past

by saikogrrl



Category: Tipping the Velvet - Waters
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-21
Updated: 2009-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-04 20:12:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saikogrrl/pseuds/saikogrrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nan, Florence, Ralph and Cyril go to New York.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living the Past

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thatfangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatfangirl/gifts).



Nan peered out of the porthole of the giant steamer, and squinting against the midday sun, managed to make out the distinct outline of a very large lady carrying a torch.

She turned back to the cramped cabin that she and Flo had shared on their week long journey. Flo was sitting on the small double bed, attempting to lace up her own corset at the front. Nan smiled, and made her way over to the bed, slipping her arms around Flo as she sat down.

"What are you doing, you silly goose, here, let's turn that around and I can lace it properly."

She brushed Florrie's brown curls aside, placing a soft little kiss on the back of her neck as she leaned in to tighten the laces.

Flo gave a little shiver of pleasure, but turned with a reproving smile to her lover.

"Don't start, Nan. You know Ralph and Cyril are waiting for us up on the deck."

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time our boys were kept waiting for just such a reason," Nancy smiled mischievously, as she tied the last knot, running her hands along Flo's curves, to smooth out the material. They both giggled, and Flo leaned back to press her lips against Nan's.

She finished getting dressed, and the two women donned their hats and made their way upstairs into the crisp Autumn sunshine.

~~~

Ralph and Cyril Banner were standing at the rail, while the older man pointed out some of the large buildings to the little boy.

"Mama! Nan nan!"

Nan beamed as Cyril ran toward them, scooping him up in her arms and twirling him around.

"How's my little man this morning? Has Uncle Ralph been telling you about New York?"

As Cyril babbled away, pointing out the "statoo of lib'ty" and other buildings, Nan thought about how quickly the last few years had passed. Ralph had risen to become a senior member of the Labour Representation Committee, which aimed to support members of parliament sympathetic toward the interests of the working-class trade unions. Ralph had been sent as a representative to a Socialist convention in New York, to exchange policies and strategies with the Americans.

"Well, shall we go ashore then?"

Ralph looked at them expectantly. He had grown more rotund over the years, and now sported a rather imposing beard. No longer did he need Nan's help to express his passionate belief in social equality.

For a moment Nan felt sad for him, that he had not yet found a wife, and wondered whether she and Flo had somehow prevented this from happening. But then again, she reflected, Ralph loved his job with more passion than she had seen in any conventional marriage, and loved little Cyril as much as if the boy were his own flesh and blood. He did not seem to have any regrets in his life.

Nan believed that this was the key to happiness in life. She had once, in a previous incarnation, set the bar as low as simply to be warm, dry, and smoking, but now saw things differently. She tried to live her life with no regrets, a task made not so easy by some of the rather more sordid episodes in her past. But then all of these had led her back to Florence, the kindest, most beautiful woman she had ever known, her best pal in the world and the love of her life. Yes, even more beautiful than Kitty to her now, because Flo loved her with all her heart. Or was it because distance and the passage of time had somewhat dimmed Kitty's radiance in the last few years? No. Nan swept the thought to the back of her mind. No regrets.

~~~

When Nancy was introduced to the Congressman's wife, she didn't think much of her: a small, tired-looking woman, with the drawling speech that still seemed so strange to Nan. She was explaining something about a political rival of her husband's who was a member of the Municipal Reform movement, and a woman named Carry Fisher, who had single-handedly collected five hundred signatures opposing the supposed 'control' Socialism had over local government.

Glancing over to where Ralph was holding court with several members of the Socialist Party of America, Cyril sitting on his lap, Nan overheard the men discussing the impressive worker strikes in Russia, and the implications of a recent court case in New York, in which an argument of private contracts had invalidated the ten hour work day.

Flo had joined in an animated conversation about the involvement of women in political protests, her brown eyes shining brightly and sweet crooked smile lighting up her face. Nan found their hosts dreadfully dull though, and surreptitiously slipping her arm from around Florrie's waist, she made her way over to the refreshments table.

The party, an introductory luncheon for the senior members of the attending parties, was held at a small Manhattan hotel, and as she poured herself some wine, Nan's gaze wandered to the door, where other hotel guests were visible as they crossed the lobby.

One of these guests was a very portly gentleman with long full moustaches and on his arm, a wife with mousy brown hair and a lovely elegant neck. She turned her head to speak to the porter, and Nan froze.

The shock was so great, she felt like she was floating several feet behind her body, which stood, rigid, still clutching the glass of wine.

Kitty.

Nan felt flushed and yet icy cold all at once. What was she doing here of all places? Kitty turned back to Walter, who tucked a stray curl behind her ear and smiled, before they both continued up the stairs to the rooms.

Why should she react so violently to the unexpected presence of the woman she had barely thought of over the years? It was just the shock; that was all. So why was her head reeling before she'd even tasted the wine? Nan took several large gulps to calm her nerves, and sat down heavily in a chair.

Florence hurried over, looking concerned.

"Nan? Nan, what's wrong? Are you ill?"

The light pressure of Flo's hand on her arm roused Nan a little from her daze,

"I- I'm fine. Just in need of some fresh air."

As Flo led her out through the lobby, Nan caught sight of a sign, which read: 'Butler and Bliss, a show not to miss!'

Kitty and Walter were performing here? Nan had been quite successful at avoiding them among the multitudes of people in London, and had convinced herself she never had to see Kitty again. But if her past could catch up with her even here, in New York, then Nan knew that she could never really escape from Kitty, and their past together.

Nan sat with Flo holding her hand, and realised that instead of burying her feelings and pretending they no longer existed, she needed to accept that her feelings for Kitty may always be there. Flo squeezed her hand. To be here, to be loved by such a beautiful and intelligent woman was what mattered. Nan just had to be able to live the pain of her past and the hope of her future in one, and accept both as what had made her who she was. Nan laid her head on Flo's shoulder, her face warmed by the sun, and dreamed of a new Broadway hit show with Nan King as the star...

~~~~~~~


End file.
